2016

KLOMP$$$$$

The big one

Champion

Limpid Clock Back View

Limpid Clock Back View (a name picked by Jai after a non-sober bet) got hot at the right time. Scorching hot in fact, as Lex's team averaged over 120 points per game in the playoffs. In his second year, Connor made it all the way to the championship.

Hardware

Season awards

East banner

Jai Vaze

Oceans 14: A Seal's Revenge

Cornerment belt

Alexandre de La Noue Kevin Merry

Top scorer (PF)

Michael Amabile

1566.5 points

Biggest blowout

Staten Island's Golden Son 152.00 def. Limpid Clock Back View 76.90 (by 75.1, week 9)

2v2 hardware

Cornerment

The 2016 Cornerment results — 6 pairs, ranked.

Date: February 27, 2016
Venue: Theta Chi House
Where: Bethlehem, PA

1st

Alexandre de La Noue + Kevin Merry

2nd

Andrew D'Onofrio + Jai Vaze

3rd

Michael Amabile + Kirill Gordeitchik

4th

Matthew D'Apuzzo + Brian Wohlhieter

5th

Billy Moran + Matthew Valenti

6th

Thomas Koslowski + Teddy Bogdanski (guest)

Setting the table

Draft

Date: August 26, 2016
Venue: Billy Moran's House
Where: West Hartford, CT

Round 1 12 picks

1.1 David Johnson Matthew Valenti

1.2 Ezekiel Elliott Connor Marr

1.3 Julio Jones Michael Amabile

1.4 Odell Beckham Jr. Andrew D'Onofrio

1.5 Adrian Peterson Jai Vaze

1.6 Todd Gurley Kirill Gordeitchik

1.7 Antonio Brown Kevin Merry

1.8 DeAndre Hopkins Alexandre de La Noue

1.9 LeSean McCoy Matthew D'Apuzzo

1.10 Jamaal Charles Billy Moran

1.11 Lamar Miller Brian Wohlhieter

1.12 Cam Newton Thomas Koslowski

Round 2 12 picks

2.1 Eddie Lacy Thomas Koslowski

2.2 Allen Robinson Brian Wohlhieter

2.3 Doug Martin Billy Moran

2.4 Keenan Allen Matthew D'Apuzzo

2.5 Le'Veon Bell Alexandre de La Noue

2.6 Jonathan Stewart Kevin Merry

2.7 Dez Bryant Kirill Gordeitchik

2.8 Devonta Freeman Jai Vaze

2.9 Mark Ingram Andrew D'Onofrio

2.10 Mike Evans Michael Amabile

2.11 A.J. Green Connor Marr

2.12 Rob Gronkowski Matthew Valenti

Round 3 12 picks

3.1 Eric Decker Matthew Valenti

3.2 Amari Cooper Connor Marr

3.3 Thomas Rawls Michael Amabile

3.4 Latavius Murray Andrew D'Onofrio

3.5 Jordy Nelson Jai Vaze

3.6 Jeremy Maclin Kirill Gordeitchik

3.7 C.J. Anderson Kevin Merry

3.8 Brandin Cooks Alexandre de La Noue

3.9 Brandon Marshall Matthew D'Apuzzo

3.10 Alshon Jeffery Billy Moran

3.11 T.Y. Hilton Brian Wohlhieter

3.12 DeMarco Murray Thomas Koslowski

Round 4 12 picks

4.1 Sammy Watkins Thomas Koslowski

4.2 Michael Floyd Brian Wohlhieter

4.3 Matt Forte Billy Moran

4.4 Carlos Hyde Matthew D'Apuzzo

4.5 Demaryius Thomas Alexandre de La Noue

4.6 Frank Gore Kevin Merry

4.7 Arian Foster Kirill Gordeitchik

4.8 Russell Wilson Jai Vaze

4.9 Randall Cobb Andrew D'Onofrio

4.10 Jordan Reed Michael Amabile

4.11 Melvin Gordon Connor Marr

4.12 Jeremy Hill Matthew Valenti

Round 5 12 picks

5.1 Larry Fitzgerald Matthew Valenti

5.2 Derrick Henry Connor Marr

5.3 Justin Forsett Michael Amabile

5.4 Greg Olsen Andrew D'Onofrio

5.5 Allen Hurns Jai Vaze

5.6 Jordan Matthews Kirill Gordeitchik

5.7 Jeremy Langford Kevin Merry

5.8 Matt Jones Alexandre de La Noue

5.9 Andrew Luck Matthew D'Apuzzo

5.10 Golden Tate Billy Moran

5.11 Duke Johnson Jr. Brian Wohlhieter

5.12 Doug Baldwin Thomas Koslowski

Round 6 12 picks

6.1 Julian Edelman Thomas Koslowski

6.2 Drew Brees Brian Wohlhieter

6.3 Ben Roethlisberger Billy Moran

6.4 Donte Moncrief Matthew D'Apuzzo

6.5 DeVante Parker Alexandre de La Noue

6.6 John Brown Kevin Merry

6.7 Emmanuel Sanders Kirill Gordeitchik

6.8 Delanie Walker Jai Vaze

6.9 Giovani Bernard Andrew D'Onofrio

6.10 Aaron Rodgers Michael Amabile

6.11 Carson Palmer Connor Marr

6.12 Ryan Mathews Matthew Valenti

Round 7 12 picks

7.1 Tyler Lockett Matthew Valenti

7.2 Vincent Jackson Connor Marr

7.3 Chris Ivory Michael Amabile

7.4 Marvin Jones Andrew D'Onofrio

7.5 Michael Crabtree Jai Vaze

7.6 Isaiah Crowell Kirill Gordeitchik

7.7 Coby Fleener Kevin Merry

7.8 Tom Brady Alexandre de La Noue

7.9 Rashad Jennings Matthew D'Apuzzo

7.10 Travis Kelce Billy Moran

7.11 Tyler Eifert Brian Wohlhieter

7.12 Tavon Austin Thomas Koslowski

Round 8 12 picks

8.1 Julius Thomas Thomas Koslowski

8.2 T.J. Yeldon Brian Wohlhieter

8.3 Stefon Diggs Billy Moran

8.4 Zach Ertz Matthew D'Apuzzo

8.5 Jay Ajayi Alexandre de La Noue

8.6 DeSean Jackson Kevin Merry

8.7 Blake Bortles Kirill Gordeitchik

8.8 DeAngelo Williams Jai Vaze

8.9 Eli Manning Andrew D'Onofrio

8.10 Willie Snead Michael Amabile

8.11 Alfred Morris Connor Marr

8.12 Torrey Smith Matthew Valenti

Round 9 12 picks

9.1 Danny Woodhead Matthew Valenti

9.2 Martellus Bennett Connor Marr

9.3 Seahawks D/ST Michael Amabile

9.4 Antonio Gates Andrew D'Onofrio

9.5 Josh Gordon Jai Vaze

9.6 Tyler Boyd Kirill Gordeitchik

9.7 Andy Dalton Kevin Merry

9.8 Devin Funchess Alexandre de La Noue

9.9 LeGarrette Blount Matthew D'Apuzzo

9.10 Charles Sims Billy Moran

9.11 Tevin Coleman Brian Wohlhieter

9.12 Bilal Powell Thomas Koslowski

Round 10 12 picks

10.1 Sterling Shepard Thomas Koslowski

10.2 Zach Miller Brian Wohlhieter

10.3 Markus Wheaton Billy Moran

10.4 Corey Coleman Matthew D'Apuzzo

10.5 Tony Romo Alexandre de La Noue

10.6 Christine Michael Kevin Merry

10.7 Javorius Allen Kirill Gordeitchik

10.8 Jerick McKinnon Jai Vaze

10.9 Philip Rivers Andrew D'Onofrio

10.10 Stephen Gostkowski Michael Amabile

10.11 Panthers D/ST Connor Marr

10.12 Tyrod Taylor Matthew Valenti

Round 11 12 picks

11.1 Will Fuller V Matthew Valenti

11.2 Victor Cruz Connor Marr

11.3 C.J. Prosise Michael Amabile

11.4 Kamar Aiken Andrew D'Onofrio

11.5 Broncos D/ST Jai Vaze

11.6 Bruce Ellington Kirill Gordeitchik

11.7 Bengals D/ST Kevin Merry

11.8 Steve Smith Sr. Alexandre de La Noue

11.9 Cardinals D/ST Matthew D'Apuzzo

11.10 James Starks Billy Moran

11.11 Kirk Cousins Brian Wohlhieter

11.12 Chris Johnson Thomas Koslowski

Round 12 12 picks

12.1 Giants D/ST Thomas Koslowski

12.2 Texans D/ST Brian Wohlhieter

12.3 Ka'Deem Carey Billy Moran

12.4 Jordan Howard Matthew D'Apuzzo

12.5 Dwayne Allen Alexandre de La Noue

12.6 Theo Riddick Kevin Merry

12.7 Chiefs D/ST Kirill Gordeitchik

12.8 Mohamed Sanu Jai Vaze

12.9 Phillip Dorsett Andrew D'Onofrio

12.10 Dorial Green-Beckham Michael Amabile

12.11 Jason Witten Connor Marr

12.12 DeAndre Washington Matthew Valenti

Round 13 12 picks

13.1 Devontae Booker Matthew Valenti

13.2 Terrance Williams Connor Marr

13.3 Ronnie Hillman Michael Amabile

13.4 Tim Hightower Andrew D'Onofrio

13.5 Brandon McManus Jai Vaze

13.6 Steven Hauschka Kirill Gordeitchik

13.7 Jimmy Graham Kevin Merry

13.8 Dion Lewis Alexandre de La Noue

13.9 Jameis Winston Matthew D'Apuzzo

13.10 Mike Gillislee Billy Moran

13.11 Tajae Sharpe Brian Wohlhieter

13.12 James White Thomas Koslowski

Round 14 12 picks

14.1 Clive Walford Thomas Koslowski

14.2 Justin Tucker Brian Wohlhieter

14.3 Teddy Bridgewater Billy Moran

14.4 Rishard Matthews Matthew D'Apuzzo

14.5 Kenneth Dixon Alexandre de La Noue

14.6 Michael Thomas Kevin Merry

14.7 Jared Cook Kirill Gordeitchik

14.8 Alex Smith Jai Vaze

14.9 Spencer Ware Andrew D'Onofrio

14.10 Ladarius Green Michael Amabile

14.11 Cairo Santos Connor Marr

14.12 Mason Crosby Matthew Valenti

Round 15 12 picks

15.1 Eagles D/ST Matthew Valenti

15.2 Derek Carr Connor Marr

15.3 Jarvis Landry Michael Amabile

15.4 Vikings D/ST Andrew D'Onofrio

15.5 Darren McFadden Jai Vaze

15.6 Shaun Draughn Kirill Gordeitchik

15.7 Ryan Tannehill Kevin Merry

15.8 Myles White Alexandre de La Noue

15.9 Chris Thompson Matthew D'Apuzzo

15.10 Patriots D/ST Billy Moran

15.11 Eric Ebron Brian Wohlhieter

15.12 Sebastian Janikowski Thomas Koslowski

Round 16 12 picks

16.1 Robert Griffin III Thomas Koslowski

16.2 Terrance West Brian Wohlhieter

16.3 Dan Bailey Billy Moran

16.4 Chris Boswell Matthew D'Apuzzo

16.5 Ameer Abdullah Alexandre de La Noue

16.6 Graham Gano Kevin Merry

16.7 Gary Barnidge Kirill Gordeitchik

16.8 Cecil Shorts III Jai Vaze

16.9 Jaron Brown Andrew D'Onofrio

16.10 Marcus Mariota Michael Amabile

16.11 Kelvin Benjamin Connor Marr

16.12 Travis Benjamin Matthew Valenti

This year’s rosters

Teams

Alexandre de La Noue

Limpid Clock Back View

Oceans 14: A Seal's Revenge

Matthew D'Apuzzo

Moncreifing The Blount

Billy Moran

John Gibbons? Lesbian.

Matthew Valenti

If You Give A Shark A Cookie

Kevin Merry

Sandusky + Sons Gorilla Killers

Brian Wohlhieter

Breesus Take the Wheel

Thomas Koslowski

Little Lebowski Urban Achievers

Kirill Gordeitchik

Daks out for Harambe

Andrew D'Onofrio

Staten Island's Golden Son

12-team league

Standings

#	Team	Owner	W-L	PF	PA	Division
1st	Limpid Clock Back View	Alexandre de La Noue	11-5	1539.8	1536.7	East
2nd	Dak Knight Rises	Connor Marr	10-5	1555.9	1448.8	West
3rd	Ghostkowski Bouncers	Michael Amabile	9-7	1566.5	1436.3	East
4th	Oceans 14: A Seal's Revenge	Jai Vaze	9-6	1539.7	1309.0	East
5th	Moncreifing The Blount	Matthew D'Apuzzo	8-8	1503.2	1530.1	West
6th	John Gibbons? Lesbian.	Billy Moran	8-8	1268.7	1418.2	West
7th	If You Give A Shark A Cookie	Matthew Valenti	8-8	1430.3	1462.1	West
8th	Sandusky + Sons Gorilla Killers	Kevin Merry	7-9	1393.4	1506.8	West
9th	Breesus Take the Wheel	Brian Wohlhieter	8-8	1422.6	1378.7	East
10th	Little Lebowski Urban Achievers	Thomas Koslowski	6-10	1313.7	1376.4	East
11th	Daks out for Harambe	Kirill Gordeitchik	6-10	1430.3	1540.8	West
12th	Staten Island's Golden Son	Andrew D'Onofrio	5-11	1535.3	1555.5	East