Thomas Koslowski
- Nickname
- Shark
- Hometown
- Phillipsburg, NJ
- Favorite teams
- Giants, Yankees, Devils
Won the very first KLOMP$ in 2012 and the third one in 2014, then settled into a long quiet period punctuated by the occasional East banner. Two championships, zero Cornerments. The rare owner who only knows how to win the big one. Nobody calls him Tom. Nobody has called him Tom since approximately the second draft. He is and always will be Shark.
Year by year
Career: 105-105-1 · 19829 career points for · 15 seasons
| Year | Team | W-L | PF | KLOMP$ | Cornerment | Honors |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2026 | — | — | — | — | 3rd | — |
| 2025 | Retvrn to Tradition | 7-7 | 1213.8 | 8th | 4th | — |
| 2024 | Klomp$ Moral Compass | 11-6 | 1739.2 | 2nd | 4th | — |
| 2023 | Former Commissioner | 5-9 | 1232.9 | 10th | 4th | — |
| 2022 | Spirit Halloween | 9-6 | 1372.8 | 4th | 5th | |
| 2021 | Big Bully Brand | 6-8 | 1317.3 | 11th | 4th | — |
| 2020 | Schrödinger's Bit | 6-7 | 1200.9 | 12th | — | — |
| 2019 | The Van Buren Boys | 4-9 | 1124.3 | 9th | 6th | — |
| 2018 | Let Me Have Some Wins | 8-8 | 1511.2 | 7th | 5th | — |
| 2017 | Don't McAdoo Me Like That | 6-10 | 1430.7 | 10th | 4th | — |
| 2016 | Little Lebowski Urban Achievers | 6-10 | 1313.7 | 10th | 6th | — |
| 2015 | The People's Fantasy Team | 6-10 | 1432.5 | 7th | 3rd | — |
| 2014 | Little Jerry Seinfeld | 13-4 | 1592.5 | 1st | — | |
| 2013 | The Real Dave Diehl | 9-5-1 | 1727.0 | 3rd | — | |
| 2012 | Skip to my Lucy Zhang | 9-6 | 1620.0 | 1st | — | |
Head-to-head
Thomas's full-career head-to-head record against every other KLOMP$ owner. Total: 105-105. Regular season and playoff matchups combined, sourced from every ESPN box score since 2012. Sorted by games played.
| Opponent | W-L-T | Win % | Games |
|---|---|---|---|
| Alexandre de La Noue | 12-18 | .400 | 30 |
| Billy Moran | 10-9 | .526 | 19 |
| Michael Amabile | 10-8 | .556 | 18 |
| Kevin Merry | 10-8 | .556 | 18 |
| Matthew D'Apuzzo | 10-8 | .556 | 18 |
| Andrew D'Onofrio | 10-7 | .588 | 17 |
| Brian Wohlhieter | 9-7 | .563 | 16 |
| Thomas Pacelle | 6-10 | .375 | 16 |
| Jai Vaze | 3-9 | .250 | 12 |
| Kirill Gordeitchik | 7-4 | .636 | 11 |
| Connor Marr | 3-6 | .333 | 9 |
| Eric Leyden | 3-5 | .375 | 8 |
| Matthew Valenti | 4-2-1 | .667 | 7 |
| Seattle RB | 2-2 | .500 | 4 |
| Alex Jacob | 2-2 | .500 | 4 |
| Jason Moody | 2-0 | .1000 | 2 |
| Kevin Maroney | 1-0 | .1000 | 1 |
| Kevin McMurtrie | 1-0 | .1000 | 1 |
By his side
Every Cornerment Thomas has shown up to, and the partner he was strapped to for it. Most frequent partner: Kevin Merry (2×).
| Year | Partner | Finish | Belt |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2026 | Michael Amabile | 3rd | — |
| 2025 | Kirill Gordeitchik | 4th | — |
| 2024 | Billy Moran | 4th | — |
| 2023 | Kevin Merry | 4th | — |
| 2022 | Billy Moran | 5th | — |
| 2021 | Eric Leyden | 4th | — |
| 2019 | Thomas Pacelle | 6th | — |
| 2018 | Matthew D'Apuzzo | 5th | — |
| 2017 | Jai Vaze | 4th | — |
| 2016 | Teddy Bogdanski (guest) | 6th | — |
| 2015 | Kevin Merry | 3rd | — |
- Kevin Merry 2× best 3rd
- Billy Moran 2× best 4th
- Michael Amabile 1× best 3rd
- Kirill Gordeitchik 1× best 4th
- Eric Leyden 1× best 4th
- Jai Vaze 1× best 4th
- Matthew D'Apuzzo 1× best 5th
- Thomas Pacelle 1× best 6th